January 28th, 2011. Dream w/family (cousins included), beach, & Jen’s backpack.


I dreamt last night of my family (including cousins) and some of my ex’s… Jen… Amanda… and possibly Erin.  I faintly remember being with my family on vacation somewhere…. we were inside of this vacation rental and there were a bunch of cots.  I remember seeing Jen’s backpack –it was bright orange and gray and she was dating someone as usual.  I remember in the dream really feeling her carefree, light-hearted, zesty, spontaneous personality — it was nice.  I woke up missing her and feeling nostalgic for having dreamt of my family and especially being on vacation with my family.

Outside of our vacation rental was a shore line– either lake or beach.  I faintly remember chasing a sneaker along the shore line that was getting swept away by the tide.  The family, ex’s, and I were outside enjoying the sun and water.  I remember someone’s sneaker who I was in charge of protecting fleeing into the ocean, and I called out to my family –whoever was in the water, to grab it before it was swept away!  I can’t remember which of my family members were in the water, but I know for a fact that my cousin Ashley was, and she had falsely accused me of doing something with one of her sandals that I didn’t do or even touch, and I remember feeling shitty in the dream and thinking, “I always am scapegoated.”

The song below was echoing in my mind when I awoke.

Digital Summer-  Rescue Me

So maybe I’m the one that needed saving
Someone to rescue me from myself
And now the memories are slowy fading
Wish I could see me through the eyes of someone else

I remember the look in your eyes
When you were reaching out to me
And I tried to help you
But now im haunted by the hero that I couldn’t be

So maybe I’m the one that needed saving
Someone to rescue me from myself
And now the memories are slowy fading
Wish I could see me through the eyes of someone else

I drown out my thoughts now
As pathetic as it may seem
So just take it away now, help me forget how
I just stood there frozen by your screams

(chorus)
I know I shouldn’t blame myself
For what I cannot control
It seems so impossible to ever let this go

So maybe I’m the one that needed saving
Someone to rescue me from myself
And now the memories are slowy fading
Wish I could see me through someone else
Maybe I’m the one that needed saving
Can you help me now
Trapt in this life with no way out
Sometimes I wish I was someone else
Someone else

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