I am cutting out all unhealthy people in my life and when this happens it will be inevitable that I will be left with is myself and will be asked to examine myself closely. I do believe though that association plays a big role in one’s development and growth –hindering or supporting. “Guilty by association.” People do have an effect on other people and the kinds of people we surround ourselves with is can break or make us. There is energy associated with each person and situation.
One by one I will be making and learning how to make healthy, better (sensible) decisions for myself, being mindful of the kinds of people I let into my life and the choices that I make. I am going to try and meditate a little and spend time myself so that I can develop mindfulness for things going on in my life. I am in the process right now of clearing out my room –making my external environment a safe haven and a clutter-free refuge for me to retreat. I think that this process of eliminating not necessary the “bad,” because I do not believe in strictly “good” and “bad,” but what does not align with my value-system, will be a *balancing act. It almost reminds me of 13. The Death card in the tarot that states: “Out with the old, on with the new,” —“When one door closes, another opens,” but it’s a transition… and a slow one at that.
I just do not want something, ie: Erin and a selfish acting out incident on her part to hinder my progress. I am not that strong to where I can just put my emotions aside and pretend (denial) to not be bothered; nor do I believe this is healthy. I am really going to have to try and maintain focus and perspective.
I think that I am going to hop in the shower now even though I already took a bath today. I want to feel clean 100% and well-groomed. Then afterwords I think I will work on my budget for my 4 living options (2 of which seem most viable) and lists, ie: grocery, to buy/return, etc. some more. The goal is to eventually have everything I need arranged and organized in such a manner to where I can access everything easily and efficiently, and save on costs. It is important for me to be able to have my own space and have things run efficiently while enjoying life.
Tonight is Super Bowl night and everyone is coming over to drink. Erin was quick to remind me that there would be much alcohol downstairs tonight. I am not looking forward to this evening the least bit and cannot understand why people insist that fun involves alcohol. Why not soda and popcorn? Heck, or even juice and celery?! I do not understand why people do not have well-developed values and am impatient with stupidity. I really want to surround myself with value-minded individuals who are working towards similar goals and share similar interests.