All I want are healthy relationships… I feel like I am building a healthier relationship with myself. The truth is however, I love someone who has bipolar. Rather, I care for someone who has bipolar. I am concerned. Bipolar runs in my partner’s family. I think her mother may have it, too. Speaking of “mother’s,” I think my mother might have it, too. Or rather, my aunt. “Technically,” she’s my aunt (I was adopted, and my biological mother and adoptive mother are sisters).
Anyway, Ashley’s mother was bipolar, too. I’m being reminded of what Ashley went through right now, as I’m living here in the same apartment complex as Ash did and where her mother still coincidentally resides. I am probably feeling the same, or similar feelings as Ash did when trying to deal with her mother.
I cannot describe the thoughts, feelings, and emotions – the experience (experience = perception and perception affects thoughts and actions) that run through your body when your loved one is acting out. Erin went from being normal to enraged to sad and apathetic within a matter of 20 minutes. She went from raging and shoving me and throwing a chair to crying at the same time to crying and profusely apologizing.
She has agreed that it’s time to get her medication changed. Anyway, I wanted to add a lot more to this entry, but I am going to an auction tonight to get more stuff for the flea market. I would like to have the time to process this later, as I think it’s very important to process events and experiences.
I guess I just wanted to say that I think I am growing and that I now believe I understand first-hand what Ash had gone through for years…