Restless anxiety


I have anxiety so bad tonight the only thing I can seem to do to remotely quell it is write… I have not had anxiety this bad in a very long time.  I have a lot on my mind and am off schedule.  I have been sick (I went picking without a jacket not realizing it would be so cold out on the state highway) and haven’t been getting proper sleep due to overworking myself to exhaustion.

I am bothered by so much right now and feeling a lot of different emotions.  It’s also close to that time of the month, which affects a lot lol  Anyway, I am bothered and concerned and just want to drive around or something.  I don’t want to be here… my apartment is not soothing right now due to the massive amount of inventory in it that needs to be cataloged and moved to storage.

I am listening to trance music right now with a heavy beat; it seems to help relax me… the silence just gives me more anxiety.  I can’t seem to do anything that will quell my mind or relax my body.  I can’t even sleep right now if I wanted to and it’s past 2.  I would lie awake with anxiety.

Maybe we should go on a drive.  I know it’s late, but I’m feeling emotional.  I am sad because I don’t know what’s going on with those closest to me.  I want to be close to them and they all seem to be self-absorbed.

I would like to further simplify my life.  This seems like a process for me, and I’m doing it constantly.  I don’t want or need a lot and I am happiest when I have little, but have a rich internal life.  I want to strengthen the mind-body-soul connection.

I may write again soon seeing as how it’s about the only outlet I have right now.  Stay tuned.

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