February 6th, 2011. Driving after drinking; irate!

I am upset right now because Erin just drove her cousin home after having drank 2.5 tall cans of beer (this equates to 4 regular-size cans) and then to her mother’s house after promising me less than 1 minute before she walked out the door that she would NOT drive after drinking and would instead make Lori drive!  Erin had told me that she would be home “soon” –that she needed to drop off her mother’s car back at her mother’s house and had agreed to drop Lori off on the way.

When I found this out, I told her I did not want her driving after she had literally just finished downing 4 beers!  She said, “I’m fine, Emily.” I said, “No, you’re not… you should not be drinking and driving even after having had only one because you are putting your own and other people’s lives at risk.”

She then had her brother drive her home after had too had been drinking!  I specficially asked her to not have him drive her home if he had been drinking, and she said, “I will decide if he’s drunk.” She was talking to him at the time, and I had asked her to ask him right then and there if he had been drinking, and she refused.  She and I both knew that he had; she just wanted a ride.  I would have said to Erin, “Erin, I want you to walk home.”

I am angry at her for telling me one thing, and once again, doing another.  This is not uncommon practice for Erin.  She will often tell me one thing and then when push comes to shove she cannot follow-through with the promise; in this case, a matter of life or death.  The bulshit excuse that “it won’t happen to me” that you hear is very ignorant.  If someone has had anything to drink at all, they should not be driving.  Erin knows better, yet she does not care –she insists on doing it “her” way and doing “what she wants, when she wants.”

Erin claims that she has “changed” –that she is a “changed” person, yet she continues to display irrational, poorly constructed behavior.  What I mean by “changed” is she had said to me last year that she had gotten into a head-on collision with a semi-truck (A U-haul (quote) “I think — I don’t remember… you have to understand that my head hit the steering wheel”) one evening around 6AM in the morning at 19 years-old after having driven home from her ex girlfriend, Jen’s, house an hour away high and drunk.

She had gone out to the bar earlier that night and gotten drunk and high (on Xanax, which she obtained from her cousin, Jen) and wanted a “booty call” (quote) and called Jen up to ask if she wanted to have sex and ended up getting into an accident on her hour-long drive home.  She was apparently speeding very fast and was still drunk and high.  Sadly the police officer who filed the report did not even catch the fact that she had been drinking or bother to breathalize her!  In all honesty,  I wouldn’t be surprised if she talked her way out of it.

At any rate, she claims she’s “changed” yet she continues to display the same irrational, hurtful behavior.  I am so tired and fed-up with her.  One of the women in my meetup group stated that when I am finally (truly) “fed-up” I will leave.  I hope to soon.  I honestly am trying to change my lifestyle and make better decisions for myself.  I want to meet positive, good, value-minded people.  I met someone online from one of the meetup groups I’m involved in who reminds me of Ashley.  We haven’t met face-to-face, and I do not think she’s gay, but my point is, I have met someone who I suspect is similar to Ashley, which is a good thing, because it means there’s still hope for reciprocal friendships!

I am going to go now and listen to music for a while;  I just needed to vent and get this off my chest.  Never, ever, drive after drinking; it’s senseless and illogical!