Constant reminders


 

Dash Berlin-  Till the sky falls down

It’s been so long since I have touched you
I can’t remember how it feels
To have your loving arms around me
This is the pain I’ve never healed

All my life I have been searching
For someone honest just like you
You left me here without a reason
Every tear belongs to you

I’ll be waiting
’till the sky falls down
’till you’re coming around, baby

I’ll be waiting
’till the sky falls down
let the rain clouds come

I’ll be waiting
’till the sky falls down
’till you’re coming around

All I need is one good answer
To understand why you are gone
Everything reminds me of you
Without you I can’t go on

‘ll be waiting
’till the sky falls down
’till you’re coming around, baby

I’ll be waiting
’till the sky falls down
let the rain clouds come

You would think that I am not living my life as much as I post about her, but I actually am because I work for myself… so I am with myself all hours of the day and am able to take breaks at my own leisure.

Daughtry – Losing my mind


So I heard this song tonight while in the car downtown writing in my journal, and I heard the narrative, and I was reminded of Ashley…

I can’t help it the girl is still in my head.  I can’t help it that she randomly pops into my head at different times through the day.  Sometimes, some days more than others, it hits me harder.  Anyway, I immediately felt a sadness tonight… not necessarily a “melancholy,” but a sadness, longing, reminiscing, grief-like feeling.

I am sure there is one word for what I’m trying to say, but I can’t think of it.

Anyway, here are the lyrics:

“Losing My Mind” by Daughtry

Never thought a train goin’ any place could’ve changed my life
Never thought I’d say I could go insane, ’til I saw your eyes
And I had to take another look to know for sure
That you could be for real
You found an empty seat sittin’ next to me
And I asked your name
Where you comin’ from?
Where you headed to this Saturday?
‘Cause I’m gonna be out on the town
As long as you are goin’ there with meYeah and my head keeps spinnin’
You got me trippin’
There’s something about the way you move
Yeah, every little single thing you do is like
One part angel and one part danger
But, oh, the kind of crazy I like
You got me losing my mind
I’m losing my mind!

It’s getting hard to sleep
Getting hard to think ’bout much these days
‘Cause everywhere I go
Only thing I see is your glowing face
And the way you light up every room you walk into
Just makes me want to scream

Yeah and my head keeps spinnin’
You got me trippin’
There’s something about the way you move
Yeah, every little single thing you do is like
One part angel and one part danger
But, oh, the kind of crazy I like
You got me losing my mind
I’m losing my mind!

Can’t understand why you got me so far gone
You’re gonna have to lock me up before too long
You’ve got me losing my mind

Yeah and my head keeps spinnin’
You got me trippin’
There’s something about the way you move
Yeah, every little single thing you do is like
One part angel and one part danger
But, oh, the kind of crazy I like
You got me losing my mind
I’m losing my mind!
You got me losing my mind
I’m losing my mind!

I have kind of been distracted by other things and people, but always, in the back of my mind, is her.  I also know (imagine) it’s strange right now with strangers reading this knowing I am pouring my heart out to some girl, or “woman” perhaps I should say, that’s not even next to me, but she has left a permanent imprint on my heart, and that “passion” between her and I never died… that “connection,” whatever you want to call it.So many people don’t believe… and so many people also run away from their feelings.  So many people don’t believe that things can last and moreover that things can work out, and they can, if you let them.  I truly believe that what “goes around” comes back around.  I trust fate.  I believe that “Everything happens for a reason.”

I try not to spend too much time dwelling in my feelings, but I do reflect from time to time, and I do think about things and try to integrate my experiences in such a way that I can learn from them.  I want to grow, and I am always wanting to grow.  I also have a big heart.

Sometimes I think the worst though, and I think about how someday Ashley is going to tell me that she’s marrying someone else, or perhaps I will hear it through the grapevine and that it’ll break my heart and devastate me.  I promise I am not some psycho crazy “ex” of hers.  Ash and I are almost twins.  Heck, we have the same middle name.

Anyway, I’m out living my life, and I know what I want for myself, which is important.  I am confident to say I know what I what.  I am proud to say that I’ve finally figured it out through a lot of soul searching and experiences.  I have standards now.  I am a much better and stronger person because of what I have learned.

Anyway, I wanted to share this song because it was on my mind tonight…

The Fray – Heartbeat


This is my new favorite song :)

The Fray – “Heartbeat”

We’re on an open bed truck on the highway
The rain is coming down and we’re on the run
Think I can feel the breath in your body
We gotta keep on running ’til we see the sun

Oh you got a fire and it’s burning in the rain
Thought that it went out, but it’s burning just the same
And you don’t look back, not for anything
‘Cause if you love someone, you love them all the same
If you love someone, you love them all the same

Oh, I feel your heartbeat
And you’re coming around, coming around, coming around
If you can love somebody, love them all the same
You gotta love somebody, love them all the same
Singing, oh, I feel your heartbeat

I’m trying to put it all back together.
I’ve got a story and I’m trying to tell it right.
I got the kerosene and a desire.
I’m trying to start a flame in the heart of the night

Oh you got a fire and it’s burning in the rain
Thought that it went out, but it’s burning just the same
And you don’t look back, not for anything
‘Cause if you love someone, you love them all the same
If you love someone, you love them all the same

Oh, I feel your heartbeat
And you’re coming around, coming around, coming around
If you can love somebody, love them all the same
You gotta love somebody, love them all the same
Singing, oh, I feel your heartbeat

Ooh, ooh
I know the memories are rushing into mind
I wanna kiss your scars tonight, baby
‘Cause you gotta try
You gotta let me in
Let me in

Oh, I feel your heartbeat
And you’re coming around, coming around, coming around
You gotta love somebody
You got, you gotta love somebody
You got, you got
Oh, I feel your heartbeat

Oh yeah, oh yeah
Heartbeat