CHRONIC ILLNESS SUFFERS, IE FIBROMYALGIA, CHRONIC FATIGUE, AUTO-IMMUNE, ETC., THERE IS HOPE!


Please read this article:

http://www.growyouthful.com/remedy/iodine.php

Quite simply, you might have an iodine deficiency.

Even MORE important patients… YOUR BODY IS NOT ABSORBING NUTRIENTS AND VITAMINS BECAUSE OF GLUTEN (IE, WHEAT!). YOU MUST ELIMINATE IT 100% ENTIRELY.  Listen closely, 100% ENTIRELY.

READ:

“Even worse, the immune response to gluten can last up to 6 months each time you eat it. This explains why it is critical to eliminate gluten completely from your diet if you have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, lyme disease, celiac, and any other auto-immune disease. There’s no “80/20″ rule when it comes to gluten. Being “mostly” gluten-free isn’t going to cut it. If you’re gluten intolerant, you have to be 100% gluten-free to prevent immune destruction of your thyroid.” -Field expert

Concerned patient,

If you cut out gluten ENTIRELY you will be able to absorb ALL of the vitamins and nutrients you body needs in 1 year.  Please please please, if you listen to anything I say, listen to this.  You need do some serious research and cut out ANYTHING with wheat.  I can send you a list if you want, but the ONLY way you will correct your illnesses is to ELIMINATE GLUTEN ENTIRELY.

Checkout my Facebook, youtube, and blog for info.  TRUST ME!  Start now, don’t wait until it is too late.  It must be 100% or it will NOT work.  Your life WILL CHANGE!

Symptoms of iodine deficiency

  • Severe deficiency of the essential trace element iodine causes goitre – a swelling of the thyroid gland. Long-term deficiency causes cretinism – stunted growth, mental retardation and many other health problems. The introduction of iodised salt in the early 1900s, and the addition of iodine compounds to other foodstuffs such as flour and milk has reduced the incidence of severe iodine deficiency (goitre) in many affluent countries. However, few people get enough iodine for optimal or even good health. Goitre-producing iodine deficiency is still a problem in many parts of the world, particularly in poorer nations and places where there is little iodine in the local food
  • Fibromyalgia. This is the classic ailment presenting a variety of the symptoms listed below, and caused primarily by an excess of fluorides and other goitrogens in the body

2 things patients… you need to CUT OUT ALL GLUTEN (WHEAT AND WHEAT-CONTAINING PRODUCTS 100%) AND “GOITROGEN” FOODS.

DO NOT EAT:

1. Broccoli
2. Brussels Sprouts
3. Cabbage
4. Cauliflower
5. Kale
7. Peaches
8. Peanuts
9. Radishes
10. Soy-Based Foods
11. Spinach
12. Strawberries

I had someone tell me this YEARS ago, and I did not listen, and I became really sick!  PLEASE DON’T MAKE THIS MISTAKE!  Please listen to me and do as I am suggesting,  because I want to see you HEALTHY!  You have been sick, too, and you CAN RECLAIM YOUR HEALTH!  TRUST ME ON THIS!!!

YOU MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS LIKE YOU ARE YOUR BIBLE STUDY AND YOU WILL GET HEALTHY AND BE HEALTHIER THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND FEEL BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE!  MARK MY WORD!  I have been watching videos of women in their 80’s, even 100 years in age and are healthier than EVER before by following just a simple few FOOD TIPS!  Checkout this lady:

INCREDIBLE!  RESILIENT!  COURAGEOUS!

Visiting grandma at the nursing home


Grandma in 2007, before being put in nursing care

Grandma in the nursing home I have been visiting my grandma at the nursing home a lot lately.  It’s really sad the state she is in… she has dementia/Alzheimer’s and stays locked up in her room all the time with the blinds shut.  Every time I walk in there it’s really dark and she is sitting up on the couch.  I always ask her if I can open the blinds and she says yes.  I let light in for her.  I show her this quilt that sits behind the couch she lays on and talk to her about it.  She likes the quilt and it keeps her conversational.  She doesn’t always remember her husband and she often gets names mixed up.  There has been one time, recently, that I saw her and she did remember her husband – his name, everything.  And she always remembers her mother’s name.

Anyway, I put lotion on her skin because she kept commenting on it – the 4 times we have visited her she has pointed to her dry skin and expressed discomfort.  The lotion we used today stunk, next time I am going to grab the “Vanilla Chamomile” from Bath and Body Works.

I miss my grandma… it’s really sad the condition she is in.  I want to take her outside next time I see her.  Erin and I are going to try.  We’re going to ask the staff if it’s okay and how to go about it.  If she wants, of course.  If not, we may just open her window for her so she can get some fresh air.

I notice she functions better when there isn’t a lot of clutter; her cognitive skills are better.

The nursing staff doesn’t really check on her… there are only 1-2 staff members on duty at once in a fairly large facility.  The food they get isn’t very good.

I want my grandma to have the best quality care possibly, who wouldn’t?  I want to make life the best for her while I am still here in Indiana.

After visiting her I am humbled… and I realize that what’s important to me is not important to her, or people as they get older.  It really makes you think about what matters.  Now I see why they say you should go volunteer at a nursing home or in hospice at some point in your life.  Visit enough and you’ll start to see what really matters.

My grandma has lived so many more years than me… I wish for her that she could remember… it’s just nice seeing her, and I know that it is a gift that she is still alive.  I will continue humbling myself each time I see her and trying to live out my dreams despite the fact that I know she is declining… meaning, her brain is going.  I wish that I had all the money in the world and could, at the very least, pay for her to get quality food, ie: Gerson – ie, raw, organic, 90% vegetables and fresh juiced drinks.

I will continue to see her.  Tomorrow I am going to go and see if we can take her outside.  Like I said, the very least, open up the window.  Oh, and I wonder how often they bathe/change her because she has the same exact outfit on from Thursday.  I won’t worry too much about what needs to be fixed at the expense of being in the moment.  I just want to be there for her and make her stay, and mine, as best as possible.

Crazy coincidences…


So curiosity has struck me because I keep seeing “Illinois” plates EVERYWHERE, and Erin suggested that it might be Ashley “thinking” about me.  This started on Memorial Day, and it’s been nuts – like, they will randomly jump out in front of me and are literally EVERYWHERE.  Anyway, so tonight, I can’t remember what prompted me, I googled Ashley’s name and stuff with her mother came up.  Before I go there, I wanted to say that it said Ash lives in Chicago… “Mylife” pretty much reveals everywhere you have lived… it even mentioned that Ash lived in Wisconsin..

So a few things… first off, I think it is very eerie that Ashley’s mom was on the news a couple years ago and traded in her silver dollars… when I literally collect them and buy them off people.  I literally (call it “luck” or what – actually, I think it’s karma, because I had some stolen from me in the past) paid $22 for 3 of them, and they together are worth $2,000.  The guy at the Fairgrounds said that he thought they were “fake,” but they turned out to be real!

Anyway, so here’s the news article I found with Teresa (Ash’s mother) selling them:  http://www.wlfi.com/dpp/on_the_money/people-seeking-alternative-ways-to-find-extra-holiday-cash  She got ripped off MAJORLY by the way, but that’s another story.  I collect them, and I would have given her $50 a piece for them!  Some of them can be worth good money.

Excited by what I had discovered, I bravely and likely in vain, sent Teresa a Facebook message that reads:

  • Emily A Cox
  • 21 minutes ago

    • Teresa,

      Hey, I saw your news article on the news. I actually buy silver dollar coins for $50 a piece. It looks like you sold quite a few! If you get anymore, I will buy them off of you.

      I hope you have been doing well, there are some great changes at Twkyenham! The pool is about to open, and I am super excited!

      I had a dream that you got a house! I hope you are doing well, and enjoying your new place.

      -Emily A Cox”

Anyway, then the saddest thing came up… and I have been thinking about, and have actually thought about this, several times… Ashley’s dearest grandmother… she passed away… exactly what I was afraid of.  Article:  http://hosting-5049.tributes.com/show/Ruth-M.-Leader-91169949

I want to apologize to Ashley for not being there… I didn’t have any idea she had passed sine Ashley cut me off right around the time of this article… if I had known that, I would have literally, flown to this funeral and been there with Ashley.  I am not exaggerating; I would do anything for that woman, and to support her… her grandmother was such a beautiful, nice, strong woman.  She died around the time Ashley and I met… “March.”  Granted, 8 years later.  Still, I do not remember the last time that I heard from Ashley…

The last conversation I had with her was while I was at the mall in New Jersey with Erin shopping for Mac’s… we had gone to the Mac store, then to the Disney store (for Erin), then to a food equipment store, and I had called Ashley somewhere in between… I think in the Disney store… and I had told her that I would be going to South Korea to teach English.  I am not sure of the month, but I honestly think it was right around the time her grandmother had passed… I had/have never heard from Ashley since, except that she no longer wanted to talk with me should my “feelings” come between her and a “future” relationship.

I wish I had the email from Ashley that she sent me departing our own ways, but I don’t… I closed the account… I might actually have it in a blog, I would have to check… Irregardless, I am shocked to learn that her grandmother passed, and I am more saddened than anything to have not been able to be a part of Ashley’s support during this trying phase, especially since she was there when my father passed away.

Article #2:  http://www.journalreview.com/obituaries/article_1a760b4c-534c-11e0-95d8-001cc4c03286.html

I just signed the guestbook… I will probably go and pay my respects and put flowers on her grave soon.

Some errie coincidences are coming up with this search… As I posted in a previous entry, I had a dream that Teresa bought a house… well, on one of the searches it says a house was either sold or purchased on April 21st 2012 to Teresa via Majestic Homes – IF it’s the same Teresa!  Weird weird weird… I do not have a connection like this with anyone else… the only two other experiences I have had were with my stray cat, “Buckeye,” 15 years ago and my ex, Jen… so strange.  Only Ashley.

THEN the woman who baptized me (My mother’s BEST friend) comes up: Dr. Sally Downham Miller – AEI Speakers Bureau, still in the “Teresa” search… what the hell! …ofall people!  Creepy!  Yeah… “Majestic HOME” sale:

2450 Estancia Lane Majestic Custom Homes of Lafayette Inc. Teresa A. Hull 3/15/2012 Lafayette $155,450.00 $300.00

2450 Estancia Lane… I am sorry, but this cannot get any creepier.  I dream of this woman… well, Ashley, not her mother, obviously ;)  …although, as I said, I dreamt that she purchased a house… in fact, I honestly want to go back and see when I dreamt it, because it may (actually, it was) right around the time that she purchased it!  I mean, I have had dreams of Ashley, where I am screaming her name… like, waking up and screaming her name.  I had one dream like this, and it was extremely powerful and intense.

I also had a dream that Ashley was coming to visit home, and sure enough, she did!  …the next day!  Erin swears we are meant to be.  Anyway, I have to go check this out.  As for everything else going on, a lot.  Re-instated, I picked up a part-time job to help supplement some money until South Korea next year :)  1 year in Korea, and I should be in a much better financial position!

Okay, ta ta!

February 24th, 2011. Save myself.


Well, now that I am going to live my “own” life I have to figure out how I am going to do that.  I feel like one again I am having to shut my heart off in order to continue walking.  I feel like I am having to harden myself so that I can keep on going, and I don’t naturally like to do this being someone that is very sensitive and gentle.  At any rate, I now need to take care of myself the best way I know how and get myself to a place where I can self-sustain.  I need to be able to “carry my own weight.”  I have a feeling that on this road, one of the lessons will be learning to take risks and chances.  I hate taking risks and chances and prefer predictability.  I understand that progress comes in bounds and leaps.

If this is my life then “what am I going to do with it,” I ask?  The world is a playground and this is my showroom, and it’s a chance to shine… I am sure that I will fall as I’m “out” there.  To be really honest, I am afraid to be “out” there.  I am afraid of this whole “sink” or swim deal.  What is life without someone?  I feel like I have been emotionally alone for too long and the last thing I want is to not have someone to rely on and have to solely rely on myself emotionally because I have already had to do this and it’s been very difficult…

“Us against the world” -Musiq.  There isn’t any “Us against the world” anymore… Ashley and I are through, and I just need to get her out of my head.  You know, the truth is, all I really needed (wanted) was a friend… but the simple fact is, she’s cut me off for reasons of her own, and I just have to move on.  She wants me to “move on” fine.  I will move on via action, but not heart.  The heart may take some time… I am not someone who has multiple commitments… that is not me.  I tend to be very faithful and true to causes and persons I believe in.

At any rate, I will force myself to move on via action and honestly try not to get a chip on my shoulder or too jaded when I come home from a jaded world and want nothing more than to have a woman there to help “soften” (comfort) me.  We all need that comfort, and I have never had it.  I have always been the “strong” one, just naturally… it’s hard to find an equal.  Ashley was an equal of mine.  I don’t even want to mention her name anymore, as it hurts so bad I just want to laugh to try and deflect the pain.  I am angry and sad at her choice to cut me off, and I just want to run away.

I can (and should) be able to make things work for myself out there… out there in this “world.”  I am a pretty tough cookie.  I remember when I was little wanting to do SWAT, or the DEA.  I love cop shows.  I am interested in protective custody, too… ie, children.  I am interested in protecting and serving.  At any rate, I guess it’s now time to protect myself.  Every time I try and get Ashley out of my head I can’t.  I sit here, and I think, “Wow, I’m going to be all grown up and she’s going to be married.”  I don’t know, I guess that just goes to show my lack of faith in society right now, because the reality is, God and the Universe work in mysterious ways.  For instance:

I watch this video, something I once (and still, in the back of my mind and deep inside my heart) believed in, and I think to myself, “Maybe I won’t get that lucky.  I am definitely a force to Reckon with.”  I am strong and persistent.  There is a fine line… I guess there is also a time and place, and now is the time for me to let go.

I have only been able to sing this song to two people — Ashley (originally, and still) and then my previous counselor/confidant “Syndee” who’s heart had no bounds and where boundaries were extremely blurred.  “Undefined.”  I guess love has no bounds…. it’s true, it cannot be defined or exacted… it’s not a science.  It’s just simply chemistry… something we try and figure out when we get scared or are simply curious, but we can’t, because it just is…  Soul-mates are one amongst a few, and they are great opportunities for us to learn about ourselves, others, and life.  They come and go, but I think it can be said, that for some those connections and ties never change.

So I will “pull up my bootstraps” so-to-speak and continue trucking.  I am not going to let anything stop me or get in the way of my own success, which I define as the ability to be self-sufficient and take care of myself.  I know that I am capable of being successful and living passionately and purposefully.  My dream is to inspire… to make change.  Ashley has no clue who I am and what I’m capable of, but that is okay, because there will soon come a point where I will be out there “on my own” officially, and I will have no one but myself to turn to.  I will make it work for myself, and I can only hope that by then, and if, and eventually that I can let a woman, and another woman into my heart…

“Dreams unspoken, this price is our token” –a line in a poem I once wrote.  “Words cannot describe, words cannot define this thing between you and I.”   Someday… not right now.  I will choose to live.  If she wants me to move on, fine.  I want to move on, too, for me… to grow up.  For me to be able to move some of this energy and get it, things going.  To do.  To stop sitting on the sidelines planning my attack so-to-speak.  To just be and trust.  “I can make it on my own.”  Instead of the song, “Just the ‘two’ of us,”  that “two” will be me and my little girl inside… that tough, strong, independent, rambunctious, energetic, alert child:

Now I owe it to myself and my little girl…

February 22nd, 2011. There is hope.


Well, I haven’t quite made it off my bed yet and away from my computer.  I was in the midst of tying things up when Ashley responded to my text surprisingly, and I must say that I am left with tears in my eyes… I am literally crying right now… I am not sure exactly what I feel –grief sadness?  Relief?  I am upset and just want (need) a hug… I majorly need a hug and a vacation with someone who loves me and cares about me.  I started to honestly think that it was a long-lost dream with Ashley… her support… our friendship…

She said to me, “Emily your core issue that you can do it alone..but don’t believe that you can.” I couldn’t agree with her more, and I responded to her, “I am stuck right now in the grief… the emotions, and need a helping-hand –someone beautiful like yourself–  extroverted, friendly, warm… Who knows me and knows my capabilities, which you do, and which is why I need you… Your help.” I said, “I just want to listen to you, Ashley.. to open my heart to you.  I have been so very lonely and need a friend.”

I’m re-reading my text, and I feel pathetic.  I am glad that I’ve open myself up to her (it’s like opening a can of worms) yet I am embarrassed to a degree because I want to be somewhere I’m not, ie: further along, and I am very strong, yet I am not demonstrating that strength for whatever reason.  I see reminders of her everywhere I go… the movie “Chronicles of Narnia” reminds me of her… especially in the first one where Lucy meets the elf-looking animal.  He becomes Lucy’s best friend… that’s all I want, really, a best friend… friendships are far, few, and in-between… rare, and I realize that now, which is why I have held on for so long…

I always trip –stumble over my words when it comes to Ashley… even talking to her in the mall the other day… I always wonder, “Did I say too much; did I not say enough?” I just want something to evolve again, but in a completely different way… I want to build a friendship, slowly.  I cannot help but feel pathetic now like I should be stronger than this… than what I am.  I have always been strong.  I do not like appearing weak.  I hate.  I despise it.  I feel unattractive and ugly.  I feel scared.  My greatest fear is probably being hurt emotionally, which is what keeps me stuck.  It’s my Achilles’s heel.  I fall.

I wish that it would rain right now… I understand I am engaging in fantasy again, but I cannot help but think about this make-believe “best” friend, ie: Ashley, Wanda, Michael, etc. –someone with a good head on their shoulders and us playing in the rain… even, yes, adults can do this ;)  But honestly… just walking, talking, laughing… going to movies… sharing… I feel like I am in some glass bubble or something and it’s separating me from living… is that fear?  …lack of support?  Connections?

Enough with the analyzing, Ashley has reached out to me, and for that I am grateful.  She stated, “Well I work 5 am til 4pm everyday.. my time is limited and I go to bed early.  I will try giving u a call when I have time.” Hearing this makes me happy and proud (for her) –she is such a strong person.  Yet I hear it, and I think, “Oh, God, please don’t call me… I do not want to make a fool –idiot, of myself.”  Honestly, that is what I think… and I am afraid to talk to her!  I am afraid because of the above!  I do not want to make an ass out of myself and say the wrong thing and/or not say enough.  It is extremely difficult I am realizing for me to be with my feelings, and it takes time… they come and they go; they are not as readily accessible as they used to be, likely because of all the trauma I have endured…

At any rate, I can’t just pour my heart out to her like I want to if I’m not fully “there,” and yet in those moments that I am “there,” there is only awkwardness should I decide to “release” (so-to-speak) my tongue… ie, like I did with Wanda with my philosophically-oriented nature.  God forbid that I do that and come off awkward and (my worst fear) be abandoned, such was the case with Wanda.  God forbid, honestly… I mean, aren’t “friendships” supposed to be non-judgmental?  Aren’t we supposed to be allowed to make stupid remarks, do stupid things, etc. and not fear being left or cut off?  Honestly, rejection is one of my worst fears… the emotional and rejection… it all ties together.  I just want to be emotionally supported and I can prove steady reliability.

I am going to really try and go this time LOL.  Ashley is still responding to my texts so I may type again here soon to up-date, but I am honestly going to try and get off here and put on some music and shower, too.  Erin will be home in a little over an hour, and I just want to be alone with myself and my thoughts… When she gets home she will probably just want to chill out, and honestly, I will probably be in the mood to go out… that’s usually how it goes, but I don’t want to go out by myself, as I naturally enjoy and prefer going out with someone or in a small group.

February 10th, 2011. Valentine’s Day preparation.


I am working on putting together a Valentine’s Day mixed cd right now for someone special and this song has come to mind…

“Straight From The Heart”

I could start dreamin’ but it never ends
As long as you’re gone we may as well pretend
I’ve been dreamin’
Straight from the heart

You say it’s easy but who’s to say
That we’d be able to keep it this way
But it’s easier
Straight from the heart

Just give it to me straight from the heart…
Tell me we can make another start
You know I’ll never go
As long as I know
It’s comin’ straight from the heart

I’ll see you on the street some other time
And all our words would just fall out of line
I was dreamin’
Straight from the heart

Just give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make another start
You know I’ll never go
As long as I know
It’s coming straight from the heart

Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make one more start
You know I’ll never go
As long as I know
It’s coming straight from the heart

-Written by Bryan Adams

February 6th, 2011. Who we associate with/Values/Peer support group.


I am cutting out all unhealthy people in my life and when this happens it will be inevitable that I will be left with is myself and will be asked to examine myself closely.  I do believe though that association plays a big role in one’s development and growth –hindering or supporting.  “Guilty by association.”  People do have an effect on other people and the kinds of people we surround ourselves with is can break or make us.  There is energy associated with each person and situation.

One by one I will be making and learning how to make healthy, better (sensible) decisions for myself, being mindful of the kinds of people I let into my life and the choices that I make.  I am going to try and meditate a little and spend time  myself so that I can develop mindfulness for things going on in my life.  I am in the process right now of clearing out  my room –making my external environment a safe haven and a clutter-free refuge for me to retreat.  I think that this process of eliminating not necessary the “bad,” because I do not believe in strictly “good” and “bad,” but what does not align with my value-system, will be a *balancing act.  It almost reminds me of 13. The Death card in the tarot that states:  “Out with the old, on with the new,”“When one door closes, another opens,” but it’s a transition… and a slow one at that.

I just do not want something, ie: Erin and a selfish acting out incident on her part to hinder my progress.  I am not that strong to where I can just put my emotions aside and pretend (denial) to not be bothered; nor do I believe this is healthy.  I am really going to have to try and maintain focus and perspective.

I think that I am going to hop in the shower now even though I already took a bath today.  I want to feel clean 100% and well-groomed.  Then afterwords I think I will work on my budget for my 4 living options (2 of which seem most viable) and lists, ie: grocery, to buy/return, etc. some more.  The goal is to eventually have everything I need arranged and organized in such a manner to where I can access everything easily and efficiently, and save on costs.  It is important for me to be able to have my own space and have things run efficiently while enjoying life.

Tonight is Super Bowl night and everyone is coming over to drink.  Erin was quick to remind me that there would be much alcohol downstairs tonight.  I am not looking forward to this evening the least bit and cannot understand why people insist that fun involves alcohol.  Why not soda and popcorn?  Heck, or even juice and celery?!  I do not understand why people do not have well-developed values and am impatient with stupidity.  I really want to surround myself with value-minded individuals who are working towards similar goals and share similar interests.