Ashley is in town tonight, and I am wondering if maybe subconsciously I am upset with the way things are between us. I guess more than anything I am upset with myself. Really, I am just upset with the situation. I am bothered that she (or it feels like, anyway) is “pouting” and not talking to me. I am sure she has good reasons, but at the same time I would like to think she can just get over it. I don’t mean that insensitively, although I suppose it can be taken that way. I guess I am just tired of the wall… the distance… what feels like separation. I just want to be over it and communicating again and be supportive of one another.
I understand I offended her, and I am so sorry for that. Trust me, I have learned my lesson. I did not mean to violate her boundaries in any way. I was young and naive. You can really learn a lot in a short time. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons in the time that I have been away from her, and I will be honest, I miss our friendship.
Anyway, she’s here in town, and I am left to sit with my feelings… Sometimes I get angry; sometimes I get sad, and I just want to go out on the town. Yeah, people change, but there is always that part of us that remains the same.
“What’s meant to be, will be.” I truly believe that “Everything happens for a reason.”