Monthly Archives: June 2011

MMS Update – 94 Days (3 months, 2 days) – Thyroid medication conflicts!


I am still taking the MMS every day, but for the past 14 days or so I have been taking about about 5 drops versus the recommended 8 (1 drop per hour, working your way up to 3 per hour).  The reason for this: Concern.  Three things have been happening:

My thyroid scores (which have been normal since I’ve been taking Synthroid to stimulate thyroid hormone) have gone back to hypothyroid, making me wonder whether the MMS may be effecting the adsorption of the medication; two, I have been very bloated, retaining I would assume water and salt, which I believe to be from the MMS, which is primarily salt, and three, I have been super tired and sluggish – another symptom of hypothyroid.

My thyroid, with the thyroid replacement hormone, was functioning fine before I started taking MMS.  Since taking MMS, the symptoms of hypothyroidism have come back, making me miserable – ie, huge bloating (most noticeable in stomach, then face, then fingers – making me look heavier than I am), fatigue/sluggish, etc.

It’s a paradox however because the MMS seems to be working to kill off many of my other symptoms, including:

-Hot and cold flashes (Occurs periodically often while laying in bed, or perhaps that’s when I notice it most like many of the other symptoms)
-Extreme dry mouth (Cotton mouth, and it doesn’t matter how much water I drink)
-Lump in throat sensation (It will randomly feel like I have a golf ball or large-size piece of food stuck in my throat)
-Mouth sores (I get little canker sores — clear bubbles in my mouth at random times — usually a single or couple bubbles at once typically behind my front bottom lip)
-Neck/shoulder pain (I will often wake up with EXTREME stiffness in my neck/shoulder area and my neck/shoulders will just randomly burn, especially at night)
-Enlarged neck/throat (lymph) glands (Especially when I work out, even minimally, ie: lifting dumbbells for a half hour)
-Tingling in hands/feet/face (I thought maybe I had MS -Multiple Sclerosis because of the random “tingling”)
-Foul-smelling boogers (Sounds strange, but is definitely something I have noticed since very early on when I became sick).
-Continual, re-occurring, slow healing infections (I get a lot in my fingers)

Since taking MMS, the symptoms listed above have gone from occurring frequently to rarely.  I will still keep my eye open on their occurrence and frequency.

I am torn at the moment in terms of which action to take, ie: continue taking MMS and continue to getting more bloated (It’s making me look 15 pounds heavier than I am) and allow it to effect my thyroid to where I am exhausted every day, or not take it and run the risk of all my symptoms returning and my lyme bacteria forming “cysts” (right now they should be in the non-cyst form because I have been “aiming ‘bullets'” at them so-to-speak with the MMS, and I had not taken any other medication before to try and fight off the infection, so they received a straight shot of MMS, which I have continually been pumping into my body now for the past 3 months.

I do not want to stop taking it and make a mistake, but the effecting my thyroid absorption is very problematic and all of the symptoms that go along with that alone!  I almost feel like I am stuck in a catch-22 – like I either have to have hypothyroidism (which is bad – many of my symptoms alone are related to hypothyroidism by itself) or have lyme disease, which is even worse.  So basically I feel like I need to rid my lyme (most importantly) but in the meantime I am struggling with hypothyroidism because the MMS appears to be messing the absorption up!

With that being said, I feel like I cannot win… I wish there was something out there just as powerful as MMS that did not conflict with my thyroid medication… even if I knew of something though, I have already started the MMS, and I trust that it’s working so I don’t think I would want to take it.  Stuck!

Emily’s Symptoms:

Current/Unresolved Issues:

-Ear-node pain (Constant dull, aching pain behind ears – random times for intermittent hour-stretches of time – when it is really bad, it extends to the upper jaw, causing me to clench both my teeth/jaws and hands, then I get a headache, and then my upper back and neck start throbbing, knotting, and burning)
-Buzzing in ears (Occurs in 1 ear at a time and is known to occur in both ears, though it happens 75% more of the time in right ear)
-Asymmetrical tonsil (On right side of mouth – Dr. states it looks and feels the “size of a grape”)
-Joint pain in hands/fingers (Occurs in both hands, though slightly more painful on the right side.  Was x-ray for arthritis twice  – both negative).
-“Tired,” dry eyes and tear ducts daily (Eye doctor said that my tear ducts dry up every “2 seconds” instead of “13” seconds.  Additionally, my eyes have lost their “vitality,” ie: vivid/whiteness, and sometimes by the end of the night I look stoned when I am not even around smoke or anything to irritate my eyes.  This also effects my ability to ride a bicycle because of the dry air)
-Extreme fatigue (varies day-by-day and can strike out of nowhere)
-Abnormal ANA titer 3x (Negative for rheumatoid factor, ie: scloderma, lupus, arthritis, etc.)
-Hypothyroidism (NOT Hashimoto’s)
-Dizziness/increased motion sickness (Occurs every few days randomly)
-Extreme sensitivity to heat and cold (When others are warm, I am uncomfortably hot and sweaty, and when others are comfortable, I am cold)
-Unexplained hair loss (Every time I take a shower, more hair sheds than necessary)
-Dry hair (feels like straw)
-Brittle nails (they no longer grow)
-Oversensitivity to light (I now have to wear a hat with a visor all the time and sunglasses)
-Facial flushing (MRI showed inflammation in cheeks)
-Unexplained weight changes (Extreme gain and loss — fluctuates between 118 and 136 lbs and changes in a very short periods of time)

Note:  All symptoms started Fall 2007.  Most symptoms occur worse on the right lateral part of my body, but all symptoms are unilateral.  I am more inclined to notice symptoms while laying in bed at night and in the morning although they occur during the day and are noticeable, but I am trying to stay busy and function (very difficult).  I often stay home because I am so tired and ache (ear-node/jaw/back/neck/shoulder).

Recent Past (Latent?):

-Hot and cold flashes (Occurs periodically often while laying in bed, or perhaps that’s when I notice it most like many of the other symptoms)
-Extreme dry mouth (Cotton mouth, and it doesn’t matter how much water I drink)
-Lump in throat sensation (It will randomly feel like I have a golf ball or large-size piece of food stuck in my throat)
-Mouth sores (I get little canker sores — clear bubbles in my mouth at random times — usually a single or couple bubbles at once typically behind my front bottom lip)
-Headaches/Migraines (I get them a few times a year for a week straight – Note:  At a separate time when I get the nosebleeds)
-Neck/shoulder pain (I will often wake up with EXTREME stiffness in my neck/shoulder area and my neck/shoulders will just randomly burn, especially at night)
-Enlarged neck/throat (lymph) glands (Especially when I work out, even minimally, ie: lifting dumbbells for a half hour)
-Tingling in hands/feet/face (I thought maybe I had MS -Multiple Sclerosis because of the random “tingling”)
-Foul-smelling boogers (Sounds strange, but is definitely something I have noticed since very early on when I became sick).
-Continual, re-occurring, slow healing infections (I get a lot in my fingers)
-Night sweats (Mostly occurred in 2008, but should not be ruled out because they occurred frequently)
-Cold hands, feet, and nose (Occurs in fall and winter and is out-of-proportion compared to every person in the room)

-Random nose bleeds (Occur twice a year for a week-long stretch and will gush – Last time I went to the ER)
-Vision difficulties (Worsened, blurry far away vision – worse at night; developed a slight astigmatism)
-Increased anxiety
-Increased panic in crowded places
-Difficulty falling asleep and insomnia
-Increasing depression
-Vivid dreams and nightmares
-Allergies/Sensitivities (I have developed an allergy to dust and developed food sensitivity to blackberries and some soy-made products)
-Random rashes (Allergies?  I have eaten the foods before and never developed a rash – now I am getting more rashes when I eat things.  The last rash was on my left kneecap, which did not subside with Benedryl “quick strip.”  The rash remained on my leg for 3 solid days and was triangle-shaped).
-Weakness in limbs (This has occurred twice.  I was so weak I could not even get up, and I thought I might have to be admitted to the ER.  Also at this time I was sweating – DRENCHED profusely)
-Fainting (I had my blood drawn and entirely blacked out)
-Dandruff (I have never had dandruff my entire life)
-Unexplained menstrual pain and irregularity
-Unusual abdominal cramping (This has happened a couple times. I will get pain in my abdominal region when I am not on my period)

June 19th, 2011. MMS Update – 90 days.


-Need to get back to structure so that I can continue to take MMS consistently
-MMS taste still awful!
-I take it with water for effectiveness
-Ear-node pain the most pressing symptom (MRI approval pending)
-Boogers no longer smell; less finger and finger nail infections (MMS is definitely working here)

Bloating has occurred because stomach looks fat yet my weight is 121-122 lbs!  MMS causing possible water retention?  (Making me not want to use it) – Going to try doing some sit ups and seeing if it helps…

Over all, seems to be working!

June 13th, 2011. MMS Update :)


MMS seems to still be working well.  I have been taking it daily 5-8 times per day (I have slacked slightly, but I am still taking it consistently) since March 2011.  It has killed most of my symptoms minus the ear-node pain, which extends to the jaw when painful.  I will keep everyone posted asap.  Super busy, but please stay tuned :P

June 7th, 2011. What he could never say… from the heart…


All the things He could never say… spoken aloud, clearly, from the Heart…

Lady Antebellum- “All We’d Ever Need”

Boy it’s been all this time
And I can’t get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me

I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I’ve prayed for you to say

[Chorus]
I should’ve been chasing you
I should’ve been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should’ve said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could’ve made you believe
That what we had was all we’d ever need

My friends think I’m moving on
But the truth is I’m not that strong
And nobody knows it but me

And I’ve kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me

But if you’re happy I’ll get through somehow
But the truth is that I’ve been screaming out

[Repeat Chorus]

I should’ve been chasing you
You should’ve been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
Oh you should’ve said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe you could’ve made me believe
That what we had girl
Oh that what we had, what we had
It was all we’d ever need
It was all we’d ever need

June 7th, 2011. The Contemplation of Death. Existential Matters.


You know, something we don’t think about often is death.  I keep getting the “10 of swords” and “5 of pentacles” is nearly all of my tarot readings.  Tarot plays off ones subconscious and works via quantum physics similar to the law of attraction.  The cards are not “evil” as some religious folks might believe – they are impressions in image-form.  In other words, we think certain things and have a subconscious and the images reflect this subconscious domain.

Both of these cards are dis-favorable cards, and I have drawn them more times than I can count.  The reality is my health is not in good shape and is compromised.  My ear-node pain is getting worse.  I have it in both ears, although the right side (also where my asymmetrical tonsil is located) is worse, and it gets so bad sometimes that it radiates to my upper jaw, causing a headache in back and front and then finally neck and shoulder pain.  The ear-node pain is worse when I am stressed out and cold air makes it worse, however, the pain comes and goes at any time.

All other symptoms, ie: hair loss, joint pain in hand/fingers, weight gain (and loss), fatigue (extreme), dry/red/bloodshot eyes, hot/cold flashes, occasional night sweats, etc. are so trivial compared to the ear-node pain, which on a 1-5 scale is about a 4 most of the time, sometimes hitting a 3 and other times a whopping 5.  I am too young to be having these kinds of issues.  Whatever I have going on — this “viral” illness that I came down with either in August of 2008 or Fall of 2007 (I became extremely sick both times) has caused my thyroid to stop working and one thing after another (in my body) to shut down.

At any rate, I am concerned, and I am now thinking about what would happen if I died… ie, if what I have going on is serious, ie: cancer, a tumor, etc.  The cards that have continually popped out are standing out.  “Cards” aside, I have a health issue that is progressively getting worse and nobody knows what it is.  One agency — IGENIX — a top lyme-testing lab in Palo Alto, CA, has diagnosed me with chronic lyme disease and yet the CDC (Center for Disease Control), which we all know has too “low” standards, states that I only meet 3 out of 5 criteria for lyme and so I would technically not have it.  This in and of itself is a huge controversy within the lyme community.

Needless to say, I am thinking about existential matters.  On my way home tonight from NJ after having ran errands and bought groceries I pondered, “What are the 12 things I would like to do before I die?”  ie, if you found out you had 6 months to live, what would you do?  So it has me thinking… and I know that sounds depressing, but lets be prepared for the worst-case scenario.  What do I really have here?  My things — they mean nothing; they will parish when I do.  “What matters to me?”  Death really makes you contemplate.

I cannot help but wonder how many people have had near-death experiences that have changed their lives.  Will I have one?  I can’t tell you how many psychics I’ve been to — trusted ones (my family used to go to one — Ms. Nancy Bowman) who have told me I will have a “cancer” scare — and “scare” or not, that may involve surgery, death, etc.  At any rate, it makes you think — “What is ‘life’ (this thing I have not even begun to fully experience) all about?”  “What will/would I like to do if I was going to die in 6 months and knew it?”  “What things would (will) I have experienced?”

My first thought, or one of my first thoughts was “I wish I had money (I don’t have any savings or inheritance, what can I say?) I would give it to Ashley and to Jen’s little brother, Jessy.”  I say this not because I think money has worth, but because I believe that it can get people somewhere — it can provide opportunity.  I want to see little Jessy go to college; I have desired that from him since I first saw him, because he deserves it.  At any rate, I do not have money, so what can I give?  That brings me to say “What would I do?” ie, listing 10-12 things before my life runs out.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

How often and how many of us really think about this?  At any minute any of us could come down with a terminal illness — what are the things (journal) that would want to do given your 6 months to live?

I had told Erin tonight that I would be happy just knowing that I have discovered my purpose – do you know how rare and precious of a gift that is, especially for someone my age?  My purpose is to Serve — to be a vessel, a catalyst for others — to create opportunity and prosperity.  I am interested in providing for myself, my future family, and the community — providing financial and educational opportunities.  Maybe I would have never had a chance to live out that dream; however, I am grateful for having had the clarity to discover the purpose.

I discovered my purpose while in Vermont, which was the best (most life-enhancing) experience of my life.  It really opened my eyes up, and I am thankful (gracious) to have experienced it.  I met some wonderful people and for the first time in my life can say that I discovered “family.”  We choose our family.  Anothe thing, I discovered I had choice in Vermont, and I also found (for the most part) my Voice.  I was able to express myself there for perhaps the first time and was encouraged to express myself and develop my potential.  People (the community) supported me — my interests, well-being, etc.

I will have to think about how to answer this question.  10 things…

June 7th, 2011. Lady Antebellum- Hello World (Piano Version).


Lady Antebellum-  Hello World.

Hello World by Lady Antebellum

Traffic crawls, cell phone calls
Talk video screams at me
Through my tinted window I see
…A little girl, rust red minivan
She’s got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, and she waves at me
Ya, she smiles at me

Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope
In a little girl
Hello world

Every day I drive by
A little white church
It’s got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is here
Oh I know he is there
Ya, I know he’s there

Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I’m never going to heal
I see a light
A little grace, a little faith unfurled
Hello world

Sometimes I forget what living’s for
And I heave my life through my front door
And I’ll be there
Oh I’m home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world

All the empty disappears
I remember why I’m here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world
Hello world

June 7th, 2011. Lady Antebellum- Hello World.


Love it!

Lady Antebellum-  Hello World.

Traffic crawls, cell phone calls
Talk video screams at me
Through my tinted window I see
…A little girl, rust red minivan
She’s got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, and she waves at me
Ya, she smiles at me

Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel cold as steel
Broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope
In a little girl
Hello world

Every day I drive by
A little white church
It’s got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is here
Oh I know he is there
Ya, I know he’s there

Hello world
How’ve you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I’m never going to heal
I see a light
A little grace, a little faith unfurled
Hello world

Sometimes I forget what living’s for
And I heave my life through my front door
And I’ll be there
Oh I’m home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world

All the empty disappears
I remember why I’m here
Just surrender and believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world
Hello world

Fri June 3rd, 2011. MMS – “Magical Mineral Solution” DAY 74- Healing FIBROMYALGIA/ LYME DISEASE.


A reader believes that I am having cardiac problems resulting from late stage lyme disease.  He wants me to be on cautious of a heart attack.  I am having major ear-node pain.  When the pain is really bad, it extends to my upper jaw.  The pain comes and goes and its intensity varies from a 3 to 5 on 1-5 scale with 5 being the most severe.  I also get occasional hand-joint pain, in the hand and fingers.  My ear also buzzes and rings for about 20 seconds a few times a week.  Most of my symptoms for some reason seem to be worse on the right side of my body.

I also have an asymmetrical tonsil inside my throat, which I first noticed about 1 year after I had become sick.  Dr’s have wanted to conduct a CT SCAN to see if it could be a growth or tumor, but I am trying to avoid this due to the high radiation exposure.  The CT SCAN is the last thing I would like to do.

Fatigue comes and goes and is extreme.  I can be tired after having done only one thing.  A walk around the corner can leave me exhausted.  Whenever I try working out with 10 lb dumbbells I end up with swollen lymph glands in the neck and throat.  Sleep doesn’t make a difference.  I get about 8-9 hours of sleep on average.  I fall asleep between 12 a.m., sometimes between 1-2 a.m.

So in summary, ear-node pain (when intense, extends to the jaw), joint pain (hand/fingers), buzzing in ear, headaches, and extreme fatigue are the major symptoms.  There are several others.  The pain is unbearable.

May 30th, 2011. “I won’t make you” – Something Corporate.


Something Corporate – “I won’t make you.”

I’m under attack again my dear, I’m in the way
Got no resolutions, no clever anecdotes to say
And still if I yell at the top of my lungs will it be the same?
I’d fly you a flag, I’d bury this pen into my veins

I wanna feel through you tonight
But I won’t make you
I won’t make you

The telephone number I got for you says nobody’s home
The best thing I can think to do right now is leave it alone

And you had an apology in your mailbox since last July
It’s funny when you find the words to say you find no reply

I wanna feel through you tonight
But I won’t make you
I won’t make you

Scream my name just one more time

But I won’t make you
I won’t make you

And it’s been hours now

To be here like this
And just to lay you down
And just to taste your lips
And just to keep me up
God I’m tired of sleeping
And just to lay inside you
And just to know this feeling

I wanna feel through you tonight
But I won’t make you
I won’t make you

Scream my name just one more time

But I won’t make you
I won’t make you

May 30th, 2011. Something Corporate- Down.


Something Corporate-  Down.

Let’s get drunk
You can drive us to the harbor
Wish upon a star but
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space
Falling from the landscape
Exploding in the face of God

Let’s get crazy,
Talk about our big plans
Places that you’re going
Places that I haven’t been
Build my walls up
Concrete castle
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah

Yeah
Yeah

I hear sound echo in the emptiness
All around but you can’t change this loneliness
Look what you’ve found, I’ve fallen down

Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you’re alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child

Child, yeah

I hear sound echo in the emptiness
All around but you can’t change this loneliness
Look what you’ve found, I’ve fallen down
Down, down
Down, down

I hear sound echo in the emptiness
All around but you can’t change this loneliness
Look what you’ve found, I’ve fallen down
Look at what you’ve found, I’m falling down
Look at what you’ve found, I’m falling down…