May 31st, 2012 Update – Blah

I am feeling very much so in a very “stuck” place in my life right now… kind of like the “4 of cups” tarot card.  That, is how I feel.  I for one am NOT losing any weight, despite how often I exercise and how healthy I eat.  I attribute it to my thyroid, which I believe I am under medicated for.  June 4th I drive to Indianapolis to file to get medical care at the walk-in clinic because it’s one of the only clinics in Indiana that is 90% income-based.  From there, I will likely have to wait 2-3 weeks to even get in with a doctor.  Yes, an hour and a half each direction ($50 in gas for my beast) to do paperwork alone; then, another drive to see the doctor.

Needless to say, the process is very frustrating.  Erin and I are both struggling financially right now, and I have so much potential, and I am apparently not living it up.  I know that Erin and I are not meant to be together, and I know for a fact that I am still in love with Ashley.  Erin and I are together right now only to help each other out financially, and unfortunately Erin owes me $7,000 and going up per month.  I am basically paying all of our bills, and we are almost flat broke.

I do not want to work for anyone.  I hate working for people, and it is completely stifling.  I cannot ever seem to find a job that I enjoy when it involves working for or under someone.  I am wanting to work for myself and be fully independent.  It is easier said than done, but everyone around me seems to own their own business… meaning, everyone in my family – they are all self-sufficient, and half of them didn’t even graduate college!  Granted, my father and my sister have Master’s Degree’s, but no one else, and they are making over 100K a year.

My biological father makes 6 figures a year.  All of them do it (the work) on their own, and of course, they have hired people.  But they are CEO’s.  I am not sure what’s going on with my life as to why I cannot seem to make ends meet for myself right now, but it’s the student loans that are killing me… I owe $714 a month in student loans… I can barely even afford to make rent + utilities, let alone student loans or anything else.

I am having a bad day today.  I have “stuff,” literally everywhere… and “stuff” has NOT made us money.  We have good stuff, too, but apparently this is not what we’re “meant” to do.  I am trying to narrow my focus down to only what’s important, and I feel like I am doing this all the time.  I am getting down the basics… and I prefer it that way, yet I am not happy about where I currently am in life.

It would seem the only option for Erin and I to be financially secure is to go to South Korea for 1 year in January and teach English… where she can pay me back then, and I can at least put a little money aside.  There isn’t anything in the United States here for me right now… I need to get this debt down.  I am also depressed I think about this whole Ashley thing… I am really sad (and angry) – I suppose it’s grief, that she is not in my life.

I am angry that she just walked out of my life when I, and really, each other had been there for each other for years.  I was going to buy her a plane ticket once to a personal growth psychology conference in Colorado… I had the money then, and I knew she would love that.  She said I was “nuts.”  I am very generous when it comes to time and resources in terms of people I truly love.  Of course now I would not be in a position to do that, however, I was then.  What’s changed?  Student loan money ran out… and I have paid Erin’s bills.

When Erin works, she cheats.  It’s a double-edged whammy for me.  I cannot trust her anywhere… this “relationship,” as I have said many times before, is virtually non-existent.  But I am here, for now, because I can’t make it on my own, either, to survive.  …until, as I said, we go to Korea, where the money is guaranteed and housing paid, so I can afford to cut down on some of the debt.  1 year in Korea and then I shall be good to go for a while.

Student loan companies and student loans in general are a complete joke.  They rip people off.  They do not work with you at all, not “private” companies at least, ie: Sallie Mae’s private loans.  Unfortunately I have a bunch of them because my parent’s made “too much money” for me to qualify for federal aid, at the time I applied for college, the first couple years.  Very aggravating… ill despite the fact that I never saw a penny from my family, student loan companies took this into account.

So I said, “I don’t care, I am going to go to school,” and I took out the private loans.  Now debt hangs over my head, and we, people, dream of ways to pay it off.  I am highly capable so I am not sure what’s going on here… why I am struggling?  I am not inspired, and I am honestly wanting Ashley to come back into my life as a friend.  I want to do fun things together… to talk… about everything.  I am sick of the lame people here in Lafayette (literally) – they are all ignorant.  Nobody shares the same interests as us here… ie, organic, health food, exercise, progressive politics, etc.  Just “progressive!”  It’s… all in Bloomington, and even then, I’m not sure if it would be like in Vermont, or more “progressive” states.

I just feel… “blah” right now.  My family does not talk to me… my brother, sister, mother, Amy, cousins, etc.  It’s as though, literally, ever since I went to VT, everyone has cut me off… okay, so I have different beliefs… your point?  They have ex-communicated me.  I am not exaggerating.  I am ignored and flat-out not invited to family get togethers and gatherings.  Do you know how sad this is?

Anyway, I want to go because I want to try and work out my never-changing stomach… at another shot to correct something that can’t be corrected with out the proper medication, which, at this point, is just a “waiting” period, ie:  June/July doctor.

Eh.

May 30th, 2012 update

Update-  LOTS going on… super busy.  Picked up a part-time job in addition to the full time work my roommate and I do together.  Now I am working in sales for a company, in sales for myself, and tarot reading and life coaching.  Next year I am for sure going to South Korea to teach English for 1 year.  Lots going on!  Working on figuring out why I have gained 10 lbs and why I can’t seem to lose it… doctor appointment in a couple of weeks.  Soooo much going on!  Will try and keep everyone posted.

My feelings about Ashley have not changed, and I have my mind made up, no matter what the age.  I don’t care if I am 80 years old, I will still ask her to marry me.  I know for a fact, with out a doubt, that she is the person that I want to be with.

April 27th, 2011. An intuitive’s mind/business endeavors.

On an errand Erin and I were making last night, while driving, and passing between some not-so-good neighborhoods, at night with only street-lights to light the way, I for some reason thought of Ashley.  She crossed my mind, and I thought to myself, or rather felt — perhaps both, “I would be okay living in this ghetto (if I had to) as long as I had someone to love, someone who I knew cared, someone to compliment me, someone who shares my spirit, ie: Ashley.”  Obviously, literally-speaking I do not want to live in a ghetto and never would, but I guess my point was that I could if I was happy in love.  I could work every day of my life and just live for that… to go home to the woman I cherish.

I can’t describe the warmth I felt in my momentary “imagination,” driving in the dark after a huge fight with Erin where she’s calling me names — every name in the book.  I cannot help but imagine the warmth, the care, concern, and support.  I would die twice to have a woman who loved me, who was supportive of my interests, who’s respectful of me, and who shows the time.

You know, I told myself yesterday that I will be okay being with Erin, or someone like Erin, who does not have all of the same interests as me.  That’s what friends are for, right?  Hopefully I am not in denial by saying that.  It is not always that I have clarity.  In Vermont I had clarity 90% of the time, but here in the city I simply cannot hear the call.  I am not grounded here and find it very hard to really sit still and listen.

I am trying to figure out what it is that I want to do work-wise in addition to coaching.  I need to do something more because working solo isn’t cutting it for me.  I would like to work for and with a business to help move things and get the ball rolling… I am interested in knowing what the vision and mission is and realigning things to meet it.  I would like to be able to try out and experiment with different approaches to “make it happen.”  I am interested in improving.  I would like to work with the structure — to improve it and its efficiency and work directly with its people to train, educate, reward, etc.  I am a systems — both persons and people person!  I am wondering if business development may be of interest to me.

I am talking with an individual today at 1PM who knows all about this stuff and he’s going to give me some pointers — he is also a life coach and pretty credible.  I too need to somehow establish some credibility — someway, somehow.

April 22nd, 2011. Life, frustrations, MMS, CT-Scan…

It is a shitty day out, and I am in a shitty mood.  The bike shop wasn’t much help.  I have abandoned my errands for the day.  Writing always helps, so when I am in a “funk” (so-to-speak) I write.  I am annoyed and feel very under the weather today.  I am frustrated because I do not feel like I have things efficiently run in my life right now the exact way I would want it, ie: with the bikes, computer, business attire, and backpack.  In other words, my bikes… I have about 6 of them, and I have no clue how to work on bikes, and I am trying to swap parts, get the bikes to look aesthetic and efficient, etc., and all of the parts are different sizes, etc. and it’s really frustrating.

A bike is a useful and beautiful tool, but it’s useless without knowing how to work on them.  The problem is I do not want to pay (invest) in all of these bikes when in the end I will probably only want to keep 1 bicycle and 3 bikes (short-term).  I am hesitant to just fix one up (versus 3) because I do not know which one I want.  I have 6 total, and 3 I am selling — the other 3 I am going to keep until I condense down to one.  Every time I go into the bike shop Curtis looks at me like I have three heads.  I cannot help it that I am not “bike savvy,” and yet he comments about how I want to work on bikes, ie: expressed an interest to him.

What he doesn’t know, which I have not had a chance to tell him, despite the fact that I have been in his store at least 6 times since this new realization has occurred, is that I have been unable to update him and notify him that I am only interested in organization right now.  I work via priorities, and I have established a new priority.  When he and I first spoke I told him I wanted to learn “everything” about bikes, and while I do still want to learn everything, I have decided that I would rather organize first, which is what he wanted for his store anyway.  He expressed skepticism when I expressed an interest in fixing the bikes.  As it turns out, I am still interested in all of that, but it is not my #1 priority, as I am interested in the organizational piece.

On another note, I am frustrated with my current backpack.  My backpack does not have any air or ventilation holes, and as a result, I have noticed my shirt ends up drenched in sweat, and it’s pretty gross.  Last week I bought a new Osprey “Raptor” series backpack, which was great except it was too small and it didn’t have the mesh water bottle pockets on the side that are extremely important to me (they work excellent for water bottles, umbrellas, and anything else that you need quick-assess to).  The Raptor however did have everything else I was looking for, and it does conveniently come in a larger size.  It is fully ventilated and meets my needs minus the mesh pockets which are super important.  I do not think I could just get them “installed,” ie: tailored, either, because the quality would likely be cheap, and I think that’s something the company itself would need to do.  I wonder if I could pay the company to do it?

I am just frustrated… I know I will probably delete this entry because that’s what I do with negative entries… I tend to keep them up only temporarily until I feel better and then I delete them.  I just need to get it “out.”  Blah.  Every time I go into the bike shop Curtis is short with me; I do not know what he wants, but I do know that he never has the time for me… I am looking (desiring) to speak with him about the prospect of being an organizer for his shop like he and I had originally talked about before I had mentioned doing “everything” (I think I jumped overboard with the enthusiasm) and now he just seems to have lost interest… I feel like he writes me off as just some dumb girl.

I have offered to sit down with him and even treat him to lunch and yet he seems to preoccupied with work that he won’t take me up on the offer.  I am frustrated.  The man seems hard.  Difficult?  I am difficult too, but I still try and listen to someone and give them the time.  At any rate, I just want him to give me some time… where we can meet and discuss business prospects, and every time I see him it doesn’t seem like a good opportunity to ask again.  Why is it that I am extraordinarily capable yet being under-shadowed?

In terms of coaching… I am slowly and surely building a practice, but it couldn’t happen fast enough.  I am frustrated at the pace of it, and I feel like I need to get out more.  Actually, I know that I need to get out more.  I have come to the realization that I am going to attract clients via events, not via flyers and post-its.  At any rate, the events that I go to I don’t think would attract the clients I am interested in attracting?  ie, poetry, discussion groups, open mic, etc.  I am interested in attracting the typical workaholic, perfectionist personality.  Most of my clients have had this personality and are in their mid to late thirties.

I am thinking of going to some “entrepreneurial” networking groups where I can display my work there.  People can swap business cards and it will be (hopefully) comfortable for me to share my enthusiasm and skill for coaching.  I am going to look up some on meetup.com.  In the meantime, I just want to get these bikes fixed up, get a good multi-purpose backpack that is high quality and works, get my computer issues fixed (I have a brand new mac, and I do not like parts of the mac OS X operating system and am trying to use both Windows 7 and OS X together), get some appropriate attire for these professional networking events, and continue streamlining my life.

In terms of the MMS self-treatment for lyme disease and whatever else I might have going on, I am going to interchange between 1 and 2 drops because the 2 drops just seems to be too much in that it’s somewhat repulsive and it’s also staining my teeth!  I may develop some consistent structure over time, but for now I am going to take 1-2 intermittently.

My CT-Scan that was scheduled for today has been re-scheduled for next Thursday.  I put it off so that I could do research on CT-Scans.  Next Thursday I will be good to go.

April 4th, 2011. Passion — alliance? Coaching is my passion.

Some people might wonder why I have not been working the 9-5, and the main reason is because I have been sick with lyme disease and all else it’s caused (ie, subacute thyroiditis, fibromyalgia, TMJ, etc) but also because I am interested in working for myself doing something I am passionate about.  I am very self-directed and work best alone.  I can be team-oriented, but I would make a better consultant.  I am results-focused.

Today has been an “off” day for me.  It’s felt rather bland.  I feel like so many things are mediocre, and I am just not feeling connected to my full potential.  I envision having a full-time coaching practice versus the minimal part-time.  I have the disadvantage in that I am slightly introverted (very slight), and it doesn’t help that I am dealing with a chronic illness right now.  I know that I am capable of taking off with my passion with helping people develop their potential if given the right opportunity.  It’s like a key and a hole, and I am looking for the right combination.

I need to be given the opportunity.  I am capable of so much.  I want to be fully self-sufficient, taking care of myself and my eventual family and community.  I am interested in bringing in and giving back — energy, free-flow.  I want to nourish my mind-body-soul and help others unlock and unleash their spiritual side and potential.  I could spend my entire life working doing something I love, but I absolutely despise working for someone.  I am too creative and too independent to work for anyone.

I am entrepreneurial with great passion, energy, and drive, and I am self-paced.  I am praying that the universe will open up an opportunity for me to “unleash my passion.”  I am ready to give in to the universe and to discover where my true talent lies, because I believe we all have it.  I hope that tomorrow is a better day.

March 31st, 2011. Tough times. Ears, anyone?

This is the song playing in my head right now, as I’ve had a slight “ego” bruise:

“Learn My Lesson”

Tonight the sunset means so much
The one thing that you know you’ll never touch
Like the feeling, the real thing
I reach out for that sweet dream

But somehow the darkness wakes me up
I’ve felt this emptiness before
But all the times that I’ve been broken
I still run right back for more

You’d think that I’d learn my lesson by now
You’d think that I’d somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You’re bound to feel the flame

You think that I’d learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven’t learned a thing

Sometimes I think I’m better off
To turn out the lights and close up shop
And give up the longing, believing in belonging
Just hold down my head and take the loss

You’d think that I’d learn my lesson by now
You’d think that I’d somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You’re bound to feel the flame

You’d think that I’d learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven’t learned a thing…

You’d think that I’d learn my lesson by now
You’d think that I’d somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You’re bound to feel the flame

You’d think that I’d learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven’t learned a thing…

The line that is bolded is what stood out to me, and then I googled it (because I couldn’t remember the song) and this is the song that came up.

I don’t know why I have such a difficult time… I don’t know why I am so frequently misunderstood.  I fee like this year I am encountering a lot of “resistance” (energetically and literally) from all sides.  I am having a really difficult year.  I am not making any money, ie: steady employment-wise, and my relationships are all very poor and turbulent.  I am trying to have (develop) a better relationship with myself, yet every attempt I have is futile.

So in case you’re wondering… I stopped by the bicycle shop today, and I spoke with Curtis.  I have been stopping by diligently to try and demonstrate my solid interest in the job, and today he said that he’s hiring a former employee to come and do the work he needs to get done.  He seems to think that because I don’t know the difference between a “nut” and a “bolt” that I would not be capable of being an organizer for his store.

First off, I did know the difference between a bolt and a nut — I learned a long time ago from my grandfather and my dad, but I was so damn tongue-tied and nervous when I went in there in search and hope of a job that — with only one goal in mind — that I blew my shot.  I froze with words.  But it didn’t stop me from coming back — I was persistent — every damn day.  I literally would visit the shop daily.  Curtis even joked to me around some customers, bantering me on how I keep on “pestering” him about a job, he’d say with a smile on his face.  He stated I’m”fugal,” and I think he was using the wrong word.

At any rate, he bantered me.  I took this to be a good sign, but now I am a little confused about the mixed messages I am receiving.  He is back and forth it seems, but I do not think it’s because he’s a flaky person — rather, I think it’s because he wants to see me demonstrate work experience working with bicycles, which I do not have, but I certaintly have the passion and willingness.  I am also a quick-learner.

At any rate, I rightfully almost walked out of there with tears in my eyes.  I have spent literally hours and days at that shop demonstrating my interest and taking the time to learn more.  He also made a comment today about my “perfectionism,” or perfectionist tendencies.  Yes, I am undoubtedly a perfectionist, and I am proud of it.  It’s my perfectionism that allows me to achieve.  What more does he want?

I am hurt.  My ego, that is.  I feel once again misunderstood and slighted.  I have demonstrated my competence, ie: in other areas, and my capability for learning this trade, and it just sounds like he doesn’t have, or rather, isn’t willing to make the time because his time is valuable.  I cannot tell you how quick I can learn this, and how quick and excellent of a learner I am.  I can excel.  I have no doubt in my abilities.

“What more does he want,” I ask again?  I cannot tell you the feeling in my stomach of what it feels like to feel and be misunderstood.  I am angry.  I am mad; I am sad.  I am frustrated.  Am I not making myself known?  …clear?  Am I not putting myself “out” there the way I should be?  I am doing what I can to make this happen, but apparently my attempts are not pronounced enough!  I am quiet but persistent.  I am steady.  I am  outspoken about certain things.  I am reflective, and I am smart.  I lead by vision.

I want to learn everything there is to know about bicycles and the store.  It is not often; in fact, rare, that I will walk into a store and desire to actually work there.  For me, that says a lot.  I am very picky and selective (particular) about where and with whom I invest my time.

I am interested in improving his business, but either he doesn’t see it, or he doesn’t have the time.  I told him to give me a shot — to allow me to work for him for 1 week.  He was considering it, but then he threw in the comment that he’s thrown in three times already about how I don’t know the difference between a “nut” and a “bolt,” which I do!  The truth is, I just didn’t want to admit to him that I made a mistake because I was embarrassed and so focused on getting an opportunity to work for him at a trade I would love that I spaced it.  Minute details aside, I can organize things by the way they look and my organizational abilities extend much further than he’s even aware.

He had a customer who walked in and who needed his help while I was patiently awaiting an answer.  He came back, and I said something to him, “I can come in whenever you want — I will work with your schedule.” He looked hesitant, or rather contemplative, and so I said, “Curtis, how about this?  How about we meet next Monday and we sit down and talk about this — the opportunity, what you’re looking for, what I have to offer, etc.” He then pointed out that they were closed Mondays, which I knew, but again, I wasn’t in that “state” (mentally) to remember something like that;  I was once again focused on the result, ie:  getting the opportunity to work for him.

I laughed, feeling once stupid again, like I had made a mistake because I knew that, but I was too focused on the outcome to remember, and I had invested all of my energy into attaining and awaiting the desired response.  In response, he said that he’s busy the next “3 weeks.”  Well, okay.  I walked out of there with nearly tears in my eyes thinking, “I guess he’ll never understand,” followed by, “Why doesn’t he understand?”  “Can’t he just see that I am interested in the trade and that I am capable?” He knows that I am smart because he actually made this comment to me the 1st or 2nd day I spoke with him, yet his doubt, or skepticism, about me not having had bicycle experience is preventing him from providing me with the opportunity.

I am honestly starting to wonder whether or not my “portfolio” idea would even make a difference to him if “experience” is what he is sold on.  I can have all the ideas in the world and be able (fully capable) to implement them, but how can I without first being given a chance?  I cannot tell you how it feels to finally find a place that I am interested in working in only to be halfway shot down.  I am a strong person, and I am also very stubborn, and so it says a lot for me to be trying to work for someone, moreover this persistently!  Additionally, to be working for a place where I would most likely make less than half the money I would elsewhere.  What does that say?

The fact that I have a college degree and am going to be pursuing higher education soon! …and yet I want to work at a bicycle shop?  What that says is that my interest is sincere and well-intentioned.  I guess in the long-scheme of things it doesn’t matter.  From this point on I am unsure of how to proceed.  I want to say just “abandon this ship,” yet I am not entirely ready to let go yet when I have stumbled upon a treasure, ie: used, vintage bicycles that are both beautiful and practical.  I don’t want to work for another shop.  I don’t want to work for another shop because I do not want to waste my time when I have already sized up that Curtis’s shop would be the best for me — I trust my analysis and intuition.

Honestly, my time, too, Curtis, is precious, and I know what I am worth, and it says a lot that I have chosen — selected Via Bicycle, to work for because I am capable of transforming the place.

Maybe he’s fine and maybe he has everything the way “he wants,” but I just want to do better.  I want to improve it.  I want to give it 5 stars, not 4.  There is always room for improvement.  I want to know his mission… his vision — does he have one?  I want to work together to create something.  I never had anyone guiding me or directing me growing up – I guided and directed myself; I learned things the hard way and my own way.

I do not usually listen to people — not everyone.  I listen to people I consider knowledgeable and trustworthy.  Curtis and I think along the same lines.  Yet, I am unseen?  The truth is, I can only do so much… either he will or won’t see it.  Screw my ideas — they mean nothing on paper.  Edit:  They don’t mean “anything” on paper, only in practice, and if I can’t use them, then what’s the use?  I have ideas, and I need to be able to put them to use.

My brain, my reflection… the fact that I am a girl… or rather, a “woman.”  I am capable of so much, but to not be given the chance hurts.  It’s like a stab in the chest.  I need to be able to be productive, and I need to be able to work for a place that has similar values as my own, and a similar mission/vision.  I just want a chance.

March 25th, 2011. Beginning stages of proposal for desired job…

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I am desiring to find a way to work for the local vintage bicycle store, and so I have come up with an idea.  I am going to try my best to offer a proposal, ie:  What I have to offer, what I desire, my thoughts, observations, etc.  Here is what I have so far…. Of course this “proposal” is in the preliminary stages, but it’s a start…

March 25^th, 2011

Before I walked into the store, I recorded my thoughts onto a personal hand-held miniature recorder:

Preliminary thoughts:

“I would like to say, “What is your mission, and what would you like to see happen with this store?”

Also maybe, “Do you care to see it better?”

Thought:  “I am determined to get my foot in the door.”

Also, “What do you hope to see happen with the store?” ie, what changes, if any, have you thought about and are interested in making?”

Acknowledged that he may be happy with the way that things are set up.  Inner dialog:  “Do I need to work somewhere where change is welcome?” (I believe I benefit from being heard and having my ideas taken seriously).

I need to find out the mission; the over all aim, and what it comes down to is whether or not he wants to expand upon it.

Inner dialog:  I should call myself a “solutions specialist” because I can see what areas need improvement and am quick to spot inefficiency and uselessness.   I excel where change is needed.

I also need to be clear on my motives, what it is I am looking for, and what it is I have to offer.

Notes taken while at the shop:

QUALITY

Wanted:  Part-time (2-3 days a week) work w/the potential of full-time

I can walk into a room and instantly size-up a person or situation

-Want to have keys on me while I work

“Everyone can use a bicycle,” I thought to myself

Customer advice:  Cash only!

As good as your word (my observation of the place, and especially the owner’s behavior)

Intuitive, great sense of humor, thrifty, health focus (in terms of Curtis)

Been in business nearly 3 decades; 13 years at this location – history of 3 locations.

To do/interested in:
-Maintenance
-Organization
-Selling Note:  Organization  + Selling = Marketing!  (Interested in marketing approaches)

Improve/build website
-Create Q&A guide (physical and online) w/simple but practical buying information for customers

-Would like to create visual aids (part of marketing) Note:  The visual aids will provide an additional tool to help customers understand and learn the differences about bikes and help them better be able to choose/select a bike that is right for them, and it will seek to educate (inform) the public and potential shoppers on the options for choosing a bike and even enhancing the bike.  I can (have the ability/strength) to take something complex and turn it into something simple, easy-to-understand, and effective, increasing customer satisfaction and sales.

All of the employees are thrifty (observation)
“Humanitarian” feel-  owner, employees, customers

Observation:  Close to Whole Foods (Ideal location; practical, where I eat/buy groceries, meet good like-minded, similar valued people)

Friendly, knowledgeable staff
“Mechanically sound” – I like this, and I believe it (integrity is demonstrated 100% — this is rare, phenomenal)
Look up:  Gear usage

Look up/research in order to learn about and be able to sell:
-Seats
-Helmets
-Locks

-Type of handle bars
-Type of rims
-Pedals
-Grips for handle bars
-Type/color (options) of reflectors
-Tires – Research thoroughly

I would like to be able (Knowledge + Experience) to disassemble and re-assemble my entire bike AND all the bikes in the store

I like that the men are real and down-to-earth – they are knowledgeable, sincere, and passionate
My belief:  Bikes are beautiful and practical
I would absolutely love to go to bike swaps (I love travel, and I could also learn this way, as well as meet people)

I am eager to learn

I need to know the over all goal – the mission

Mission/Goal
Objective

So that I can work towards –
Contribute
to attaining it

Passion
Curiosity

Strength of Mine:  Pro’s/Con’s focus
Ability to identify Ability to quickly size up situations

My belief:  Everyone can benefit from a bicycle and trying one is the first step, which can then lead to owning one! (This is the belief that I will operate from, that will go on in the back of my mind, which will inevitably and involuntarily fuel sales)

Recorded thoughts after meeting with Curtis:

I don’t want to sound too eager; I want to fix up my bike, and then help others fix up theirs so that they’re happy.  I think I would really enjoy working with bikes; I’m going to do some research tonight to learn more.  I could really digg it working there.  I like that a bicycle is not just a “thing;” it’s practical – and not only is it practical, but it’s useful so it aligns with my values.

I want to say to him, “What do you want from me; I can deliver.”  If it’s quick turn around, I can do it.  “If it’s organization, I can do it. If it’s leadership/management, I can do it.”  I just want to be happy and love the work that I do.  If I have to put together a proposal or plan in order to get this job I will do it. I want to say “teach me everything there is to know about bicycles.”

I’m going to say to him, “Alright this is what I have for you…” and show him the notes and research.

“One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.”

I think I can learn a lot from Curtis.
He apparently can size people up; I wonder what he thinks about me.
If he provides the opportunity, I will give back.
If he tells me the goal, I will do my best to satisfy and fulfill the mission.
I can be his “go-to” person.
I will do what it takes to learn the trade inside out.
I can only learn work under certain people, and I am willing to work under him (that is rare; I have to trust that someone is knowledge and knows what they’re talking about)
I would rather make less money working for him more hours than working somewhere else less hours making more money.

Notes taken at home that evening:

Yes, I am doing my homework ;)

Mission/Goal
Objective

Customer Satisfaction
*Fulfillment

I was interested in doing some research on the bikes, and so when I arrived back home I eagerly googled:

• Everything you need to know when working at a bicycle shop
• Everything you need to know when working with bicycles
• Everything you need to know when first learning about bicycles

Note:  As I researched articles I found it helpful to specify my search to “used” bicycles, and moreover, “vintage” bicycles (1930’s-1980’s).

The good thing is I don’t want someone to just take my bike to a shop and have someone“fix” my bike for me, but rather, I would like to be shown how to fix it on my own, which shows a high-level of commitment and passion to learning about, maintaining, and retailing bicycles.

The benefits of owning a bicycle are timeless…  They include:

Pro’s/Con’s:

(Further researching).  I demonstrate a commitment to learning about bicycles and preserving their beautiful nature and marketing them to individuals for their personal satisfaction and fulfillment.  I am interested in customer retention and know naturally how to increase sales and revenue, as I have worked for many retailers and been a top seller, knowledgeable, thorough, productive, and insightful.

SKILLS & STRENGTHS

• Honest, passionate, creative, self-aware, self-motivated
• Bright, intellectually curious, hardworking, persistent
• Excellent leader, drive, organization, vision
• Excellent communication—written and verbal